Marriage seems wonderfully endearing to the single individual who has never married, and perhaps to the divorced person who hankers for some thing to arrest their longing for companionship or sexual release, but marriage for virtually all of us is very a tough perform at times. (And I can say this even as a representative of my wife!). We carry so a lot of ourselves into our marriages – which is both a very good and a negative point.
We carry in expectations of being ‘met’ by our partners: that they will satisfy us sexually, not invest as well considerably money, not look for to manage us, that they will want to devote time with us. We also deliver in expectations of what our partners ought to deliver to us: their virtues of diligence and moderation and sanctity and kindness – to title just 4. We are disappointed when they don’t measure up to our previously unconscious expectations – that have now turn out to be aware due to our encroaching annoyance.
Relationship Problems Emotional Abuse
If nothing works, it is better to look for an opinion where you feel more comfortable and secure. Saving your marriage requires efforts from both sides, not just from one partner. If the other spouse does not show any effort or interest in building up the relationship, it would become harder to do so.
You expect your spouse to act or speak a certain way or do something for you or give you what you want or know what to do without you saying it or understand how you feel etc. Let me give you some everyday examples. Suppose after work, you go somewhere with your office colleagues instead of going straight home. You hang out at a favorite place and have a good time.
Weary from the discontent of trying to find peace with someone you love? Have you endured sleepless nights? Have the arguments lasted way too long into the night? It’s time to make a change, a total transformation of your interaction with your loved one.
This is required when both the partners feel strongly that they are no longer able to proceed with the relation. Though people still want to keep meeting and save the relation; in most cases they do not know how to do it.
For example, if I’m upset with my husband and I emotionally withdraw, he doesn’t have a clue why, but he will recognize my distance and his thoughts will begin to ponder “what’s wrong here?” If he is a peacemaker.
Now for the second response: FLIGHT. When offended, a person may give the silent treatment, pretend there is no problem, act as if the relationship is perfectly OK, tell others about the offense but not discuss with the offender, turn to alcohol, drugs, pornography or any other addictive or mind numbing substance or activity.
Can This Marriage Be Saved Stories
Make the decision, with your spouse, to be committed to the relationship not matter what. Be Loving and Kind To One Another – You are a team now. The two became one. It is about two people, you AND me, rather than you VERSUS me. If you can remember that you two are a team, and that teammates work together, you will handle things differently. Remember, there is no “I” in “TEAM.”
Take some things personally. Sometimes you do need to hear what your spouse has to say. Don’t ignore important feedback your spouse is giving you. Honor Your Commitment – For the majority of us, when we got married, we took vows that said we would stay together through thick and thin, good times and bad, sickness and health, for richer or poorer….and we meant them.
Character is the decisions you make when no one hears you. Character is what happens in your mind in a split second! Character is the person you become when you face a crisis or when all things come tumbling down.
The shock shouldn’t be that you experience any conflict, but rather that you actually get along!. Why Couples Argue?, The primary reason couples have disagreements and/or arguments is that living together forces people to face their differences – differences that can become sources of irritation – if not outright contention – over time.
Find solutions where both people get what they want. Compromise can leave people foaming at the mouth because it can mean that they have to sacrifice what they want to accommodate their partner. Be willing to think outside the box and find new ways forward to accommodate each partner’s wishes.
Over the course of a marriage, or any long term relationship, for that matter, there are times when the best thing to do is try it the other persons way. The capitulating partner comes from a place that basically says, “Our relationship and our happiness is more important to me than this issue. Let’s try it your way.”
Conflict, even in the best marriages, is inevitable. For some couples it creates underlying unease in a relationship. For others, it causes major problems. How we deal with conflict leads to either a painful or pleasurable conclusion.
There should be a study done with couples who waited to marry for say three years and see if the rate of divorce is better. It would be interesting to see if this would help out as much as it seems like it should.
The Mid-Brain (The Mammalian Brain), The second brain, like it or not, is similar to mammals. This is the part of our brain that mediates or controls emotion. We generally do not think of snakes or lizards as having emotion, but mammals (dogs, cats, etc.) experience what we call emotion. They can be afraid, angry, loving, happy, etc. Humans have a wide and rich range of emotion.
You and your spouse don’t meet the person who charmed each other’s friends, bought gifts for each other’s parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. This is usually the way we display ourselves when relating to others specially if we have “fallen in love.” It doesn’t mean we trick a person into believing something that is not true!.
When you can disagree without insisting on getting your own way and give consideration to the other person’s feelings, you’ll be on the path of a peacemaker!. If saving a marriage is your goal, use your differences as the springboard to peacemaking.
Marriage conflicts can be due to lots of things, such as ego, misunderstandings, different ways of looking at things, etc. You and your spouse need to come to some kind of consensus to find a solution to what is going wrong in your relationship. If you’re both willing to work on it, and find out the real issues, it can be saved.
Shifting the focus from the negative aspects of the conflict to the potential opportunity it presents changes the atmosphere of a marriage. A couple that begins to communicate in this way will be less likely to lash out in conflict and perpetuate negative behaviors. The nature of communication should always be in an effort to understand and move forward.