Marriage would seem wonderfully endearing to the single man or woman who has never ever married, and possibly to the divorced person who hankers for anything to arrest their longing for companionship or sexual release, but marriage for almost all of us is fairly a difficult perform at occasions. (And I can say this even as a representative of my wife!). We carry so significantly of ourselves into our marriages – which is each a great and a negative point.
We deliver in expectations of being ‘met’ by our partners: that they will satisfy us sexually, not commit too much income, not seek out to management us, that they will want to invest time with us. We also carry in expectations of what our partners should bring to us: their virtues of diligence and moderation and sanctity and kindness – to identify just 4. We are disappointed when they don’t measure up to our previously unconscious expectations – that have now turn out to be conscious due to our encroaching annoyance.
Relationship Problems Emotional Abuse
Tell your partner every day at least one thing you appreciate about who they are or something they have done. Make every effort to see the concerns of your partner through their eyes. Avoid dismissing their feelings and experience when you do not understand or agree. Never criticize or put down your partner in public. Nurture healthy interests outside your relationship.
The Big Six are the areas of communication, money, sex, children, in-laws and religion. Perhaps we should call it the Big Seven, and add the all important issue of who gets to hold the TV remote control. No kidding, I’ve actually had couples fighting over this issue. I’ve even had them fighting over the age old issue of how to hang the toilet paper roll, over or under.
As a couple you should both have leadership qualities. The essence of leadership is: “To lead people to willingly do things that they would normally not want to do themselves.” Here are some ways to manage marital conflicts and resolve differences; understanding them will be your marriage saving secrets. Make sure your spouse understands the issues and if possible clarify the issues.
These 3 rules will help keep the love alive in your relationship. Moreover, if you can keep those loving feelings alive, you are on your way to a marriage that will last. Start with the basics, and then read on for more help, Don’t take everything personally – In marriage, we get so comfortable with each other that we begin to read each other’s minds.
Do you wish your marriage felt better to you? Do you have some minor relationship problems you would like to fix? Or maybe you have some problems that feel huge and you are tired of them. Either way, you want less pain and more pleasure in your marriage.
Make the decision, with your spouse, to be committed to the relationship not matter what. Be Loving and Kind To One Another – You are a team now. The two became one. It is about two people, you AND me, rather than you VERSUS me. If you can remember that you two are a team, and that teammates work together, you will handle things differently. Remember, there is no “I” in “TEAM.”
Stop Divorce Prayers
In my many years of mentoring couples in business and personal relationships, I have found certain 7 “Proactive Actions” which, if taken by either (but more successfully by both) spouse, go a long way to resolving just about all conflicts which arise in a marriage. Make the decision to stay married, A choice becomes a decision when you assassinate all options – when you burn down all exit doors!.
Practice ahead of time using “I” words as opposed to “you” words. Avoid “you” words as it will always come across as accusatory. Using “I” statements demonstrates your ability to take personal responsibility for your own actions and words.
There are basically two reactions towards anything that displeases a person. Some people blow up. They may shout, scream, rant or rave and after they have done so, they cool down and return to normal. Others on the other hand, keep their anger or bitterness inside them by clamming up. They may display their displeasure in their faces or body language but they would not vocalize it or act on it there and then.
Make a pact with your spouse. In overcoming marriage problems it is important to promise each other that you will both try your best to fix the problem in your marriage. Do whatever it takes to save the marriage and bring the relationship back on the right track.
Divorce is emotionally traumatic for some people and it had been compared to dealing with death by some people who have gone through a divorce. It can also be very challenging for the emotional well being of children, even if it’s what we call an amicable divorce. The separation will still be there, and the child will still lose one of his parents “full-time” so to speak.
This may involve some major changes to your lifestyle, and saving your marriage may involve you changing jobs, changing neighborhoods, or even changing cities in order to leave your past behind. You must be prepared to do this!.
Seek out a program where you and your spouse have the opportunity to learn and practice concrete skills, under supervision, you can continue to use regularly at home. Both secular and faith-based programs are available. While people sometimes express concern about sharing their problems in the presence of other couples, workshops have their own set of benefits.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t work to achieve an answer to a marriage conflict even if you’re not married. In fact maybe it will be a bit easier to settle. It takes two people to work through any marriage conflict. So you need to see if both of you are willing to work out problems.
There are usually two types of responses to conflict, fight or flight. But a third response is possible and it is the only proper response to bring resolution to your problems. I’ll talk about FIGHT first.
You will discover the most useful answer or reply in a moment. Meanwhile, practically every article you read concerning the topic of marriage conflict resolution gives you the standard and typical “well meaning” advice.
One day I decided to do something about it. I just could not stand it anymore. I wanted to be happy, enthusiastic, loving, energetic person I once was. And I wanted my partner to smile again, love me again just like when we just met.
When you are safe with your partner, warmth, playfulness, affection and sexuality tend to emerge naturally. When you are not safe, there is distance, hiding, criticism, fighting, etc. Instead, we tell the other person that they are the ones with the problem thus infuriating and alienating them further in the process.
Please, whatever you do, ensure that you adopt this single most effective tip to help save my marriage which is none other than adopting a positive attitude. In any relationship, and that includes marriage, conflicts can occur every now and then. Disagreements are bound to happen over a wide range of issues, whether big or small, but it’s essential that couples know how to settle their conflicts in a calm manner.
What About The Old Brain?, For simplicity’s sake, in this WEB site, we will lump the Hindbrain and the Midbrain together and refer to them as “The Old Brain.” It is “old” not in the sense that it is out of date or not as valuable as the Cortex (The “New Brain”). We actually are wise to learn to deeply respect, value and honor the “Old Brain.”
All of those are great questions, but ones that can’t be answered easily. However, if you wait to marry until you know each other better you can avoid a divorce. Marriage conflicts that are experienced when you are only a couple who is engaged can be taken on differently. You won’t need to worry about the stigma of divorce hanging over your head.