Marriage looks wonderfully endearing to the single person who has never ever married, and maybe to the divorced individual who hankers for something to arrest their longing for companionship or sexual release, but marriage for virtually all of us is really a tough work at times. (And I can say this even as a representative of my wife!). We carry so much of ourselves into our marriages – which is both a very good and a bad factor.
We bring in expectations of being ‘met’ by our partners: that they will satisfy us sexually, not commit also much money, not seek out to handle us, that they will want to spend time with us. We also bring in expectations of what our partners need to deliver to us: their virtues of diligence and moderation and sanctity and kindness – to title just 4. We are disappointed when they don’t measure up to our previously unconscious expectations – that have now turn into conscious due to our encroaching annoyance.
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For example, if I’m upset with my husband and I emotionally withdraw, he doesn’t have a clue why, but he will recognize my distance and his thoughts will begin to ponder “what’s wrong here?” If he is a peacemaker.
This puts a huge strain on your relationship. If this keeps up, you will be faced with a disaster in your marriage. Again, how did that conflict begin?. It started with the unfulfilled expectation of your husband towards you. When one spouse expects something of the other and that expectation is not met, miscommunication occurs.
An Important Key Is?, This all-important key to saving your marriage is to discern all areas of unfulfilled expectations that each of you have towards the other. Open the channels of communication. Talk it through, express you thoughts and feelings towards each other. Ask one another what each expects of the other in any given area of your marriage.
The house is a mess, the noise is driving your wife crazy and the dinner is getting burnt. By the time you get home, your wife is seriously stressed out and is about to kill you for being so inconsiderate. What happens next is a domestic ‘World War III’.
There are lots of solutions to save a marriage, but you first have to realize what your particular problems are. Spend some time looking objectively at your marriage and try to come up with a solution to what you see as the real problems. Talk to your spouse about it, too. He or she may have unique ideas for solutions that you may not have considered.
When you look back at the good times in your life and you miss the excitement and enthusiasm you want it back. But how do you get there from here? It has been such a long time since feeling that way, the roaring flames of romance has long since been reduced to mere smoldering embers.
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The single most effective tip to help save your marriage is simply the adoption of a positive attitude, condition yourself in such a way that there is a certain believe that you can really salvage your marriage if you actually try. By actually try; I mean that if you use the same strategies that has been successfully used by other couples to resolve their marital differences.
Many times, when the uncooperative spouse sees the effort and change in the other partner, they come around to begin working alongside to restore the relationship. Now, let say you don’t complain. What happens?.
Chances are that you know at least one person that is divorced. The average person knows at least three people who have been divorced. Yes, the numbers of failed marriages are staggering. Divorce percentage has increased over the years never to go down again. Why can’t people seem to be able to stay married anymore? Are you in need of a cure to marriage conflicts?.
Methods of Resolving Conflicts: It should not be thought that conflicts are abnormal in marriage. Conflicts are inevitable, even in marriage because of past experiences, the different environments in which the couples were brought up and difference in personality. The solution therefore does not depend in trusting that conflicts will not occur, but depends on knowing how to resolve them when they occur.
Nikki told me during a marriage conflict intervention, “The person my husband Mike now calls a “bitch” was never like that ten years ago.” “How would you describe the Nikki of ten years ago?” I asked her. “Sweet, pleasant, romantic, willing to go the extra mile, considerate and kind,” she said.
One of the main areas a therapist can help a couple is in developing healthy and effective communication skills. It’s no secret that many problems in a relationship can be traced to communication issues. Teaching a couple to communicate effectively is one of the ways a marriage counselor can help.
Our wives and husbands are dealing with irresolvable problems – struggles and frustrations – just as we are – but they are just different. If we can flip towards them, releasing our expectations in faith, their release is imminent, and then so is ours. The irresolvable concerns in marriage will both torment us as we hold onto our unrealistic expectations for adjust, or they will release us into a new season of peace and joy.
They get married too soon, and too fast. Be it for love and romance, or for the sake of a baby that’s on the way, or two kids just looking for a way to get out of their parents house, improper planning is one of the root causes of marital conflict.
It is helpful if this specialist offers both counseling and psycho-education services, or will refer you to workshops if that is what you need. Together, with a counselor, you can choose which service or combination of services is right for you. Are you ready to make some changes today towards a healthy, successful relationship? Here are four tips you can start using now.
Even if couples remain in a co-existing position on an issue, they can still have a strong marriage. Conflict in marriage is inevitable. The successful handling of conflict involves a healthy and balanced mix of the skills of compromise, capitulation and co-existing. No matter how you hang the toilet paper.
Conflict will be present in even the best marriages. A couple that says they never have conflict is either in denial or they just aren’t really living. Unfortunately when couples think of conflict they will often attach negative connotations to it. A better way to understand conflict in marriage would be to look at it introspectively.
Speak about what actually happened, who did what, what was said by whom and when, how you felt when it happened and how your partner’s words or actions affected you.
What’s the difference between good marriages and bad marriages? Several ways you could answer that, but one thing it’s not. It is not that bad marriages have a lot of conflicts while good marriages are fortunate enough to never have any. After thirty years of marriage, I can tell you that all marriages have conflicts.
Many people are familiar with marriage or relationship counseling where you meet regularly over a period of time with a counselor or therapist. Successful treatment focuses on your relationship rather than on individual issues. With your counselor you identify and dissolve the barriers to resolving your conflicts.