Marriage would seem wonderfully endearing to the single particular person who has by no means married, and perhaps to the divorced person who hankers for one thing to arrest their longing for companionship or sexual release, but marriage for virtually all of us is fairly a tough work at times. (And I can say this even as a representative of my wife!). We carry so a lot of ourselves into our marriages – which is both a very good and a negative thing.
We bring in expectations of getting ‘met’ by our partners: that they will satisfy us sexually, not devote too much income, not seek to control us, that they will want to devote time with us. We also carry in expectations of what our partners ought to carry to us: their virtues of diligence and moderation and sanctity and kindness – to name just 4. We are disappointed when they don’t measure up to our previously unconscious expectations – that have now become aware due to our encroaching annoyance.
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If it was the divorce rates would be much lower, in fact for first time marriages in Canada and the US, 50% will end in divorce. While on the other side of the world Japan only shows a 27% divorce rate? Why is it so different? What do they do differently? Yes the cultures are completely opposite, but how can it have such a huge effect?.
There are decisions to be made, questions to be answered and suddenly two people are faced with issues that weren’t talked about much less thought about prior to the wedding. Fact of the matter is, a lot of people jump the gun.
This act of submission saves the wolf’s life and the wolf pack remains intact. We suspect that the reason many people stay in dangerously abusive marriages is this “old brain’s” impulse to submit as a way of surviving. The Old Brain and Safety, When the old brain perceives safety, the parasympathetic system takes over and in safety the old brain knows how to do five things.
Well, people only knew a “personality” not the “character” of that person. Character in the end is the constellation of enduring traits that are manifested in the ways that an individual reacts to the extreme challenges of life. When you and your spouse met, you met each other’s personalities. You showed to the other person the most brilliant side of you or your public persona.
Why should you be one of them? You can avoid most pitfalls with the right information and save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache simply by being informed, so, consider reading books that deal with this issue or consulting a relationship expert, who might be able to point out to you exactly what you are doing wrong and how you can fix it.
To be a good partner, you must listen to your partner and be willing to make an attempt to understand his or her point of view. You must keep cool and not argue and take everything your partner says into consideration. You should also calmly and lovingly express your own needs and desires. Through open communication, you can save a marriage and even make it happier than before.
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It is often heard that adopting an attitude of hope is almost impossible in the midst of the chaos of marriage problems and the heartache associated with it. If you feel that you are faced with this challenge, consider asking yourself a more empowering question, such as: “How can I adopt an attitude of hope regardless of the problems I am currently experiencing?”.
In the best of all possible worlds, we would be well prepared for handling conflict before we get married. My experience in my office tells me that is just not the case for most couples. Part of the reason for this is there is just so much in a marriage relationship that can cause conflict. I’ve written before about what’s called the Big Six, the six main areas of conflict in marriage.
The problem comes when couples approach conflict as a win-lose situation, which makes it very difficult to reach a compromise. It’s simply human nature to want to be right, and so we approach resolving conflict from a right or wrong perspective.
Working and providing the income may be a way to show your partner that you love them. Some people feel loved when others do things for them, some when they hear it, others when they are touched and yet others when they see it written. Your partner may need to hear it from you.
I can’t tell you how wonderful that feels.” This is why wise therapists and this WEB site are showing couples how to be healing agents for each other because that is the place for the most powerful and effective healing to take place.
Words such as, “I felt foolish when you said those things about me in front of your friends!” are much more acceptable because they do not attack the self-worth of your partner while at the same time they do bring up the issues of conflict.
What she needs to do is to complain. But how she does it is very important. This is what she could say to her husband: When you don’t take me anywhere, I feel like you take me for granted and that hurts me. In saying it in that way, she’s very honest, while at the same time respectful. She isn’t judging or attacking, she’s honestly reporting how she’s feeling.
Character is the decisions you make when no one hears you. Character is what happens in your mind in a split second! Character is the person you become when you face a crisis or when all things come tumbling down.
Marital problems can lead to divorce and it is important to know the best ways of overcoming marriage problems to keep your marriage intact. It is normal to encounter problems and conflicts in any relationship and it can be very hard to avoid them but if you know how to deal with them, your relationship will last for years.
Unresolved conflict issues in a marriage are the highest, single most damaging cause of divorce. And the truth is that there is no conflict resolution without character. When all is said and done, the person you met is not the person he/she becomes through the years. Very often crisis in a marriage simply displays the character of the people who are married.
When you factor in, new experiences, change of perceptions, hormonal changes and repeated emotional injuries through the years you begin to realize that character is all you have to keep a marriage sound and healthy.
Positive attitude. If you are feeling frustrated about how things are going in your marriage, it is important to have a positive attitude. Overcoming marriage problems is easier if you have a positive attitude.
Conflict Resolution Tips?. Conflict resolution is a skill that takes time and practice to master. You constantly learn how to understand your partner better, what to do or say in a disagreement and what to avoid so as not to make things worse. Here are the tips.
The shock shouldn’t be that you experience any conflict, but rather that you actually get along!. Why Couples Argue?, The primary reason couples have disagreements and/or arguments is that living together forces people to face their differences – differences that can become sources of irritation – if not outright contention – over time.